“Pulpy, blackly humorous, compulsively readable, and somehow both wildly surreal and down-to-earth. Lansdale is a national fucking treasure.”
—Christa Faust, author of Money Shot
In Edgar Award winner Joe R. Lansdale’s newest Hap and Leonard story collection, the boys are back, with more righteous ass-kickings, highly improbable adventures, and disastrous fishing trips. These never before collected tales showcase the dynamic duo as a little bit older, but not a whole lot wiser.
ISBN: Print 978-1-61696-370-5; Digital 978-1-61696-371-2
Published: March 2022
Available Format(s): Trade paperback and digital
In Edgar Award winner Joe R. Lansdale’s newest Hap and Leonard story collection, the boys are back, with more righteous ass-kickings, highly improbable adventures, and disastrous fishing trips. These never before collected tales showcase the popular not-so dynamic duo as a little bit older, but not a whole lot wiser—Hap and Leonard were truly born for trouble.
“You could call Born for Trouble a collection of stories. But that’s like calling Paradise Lost by Milton a poem. Born for Trouble is a road map through 20th-century crime fiction.”
—S.A. Cosby author of Razorblade Tears
When you meet him, Hap Collins seems just like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal was Leonard Pine: black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Together, they have mostly found their way as partners in crime-solving—and at least as often, as hired muscle.
As Hap wrestles with his new identity as a father, and Leonard finds love in a long-term relationship, the boys continue their crime-solving shenanigans. They uncover the sordid secret of a missing bookmobile, compete in a warped version of the Most Dangerous Game, regroup after Hap’s visit to the psychologist goes terribly awry, and much more.
So sit yourself back and settle in—Born for Trouble is East Texas mayhem as only the master mojo storyteller Lansdale could possibly tell.
***
Contents
Introduction: “The Boys” by Joe R. Lansdale
Coco Butternut
Hoodoo Harry
Sad Onions
The Briar Patch Boogie
Cold Cotton
The Hap and Leonard short story series
Hap and Leonard Hap and Leonard: Blood and Lemonade
The Big Book of Hap and Leonard (digital only) Of Mice and Minestrone
About the Hap and Leonard TV series
The classic Hap Collins and Leonard Pine mystery series began in in 1990 with Savage Season. Hap and Leonard made their screen debuts in the three season Hap and Leonard TV series, starring Michael K. Williams (The Wire), James Purefoy (The Following), and Christina Hendricks (Mad Men).
Crime Reads Most Anticipated Crime Fiction
“It doesn’t get much better than one of the best crime writers in the business serving up brand new stories featuring his most iconic characters. Lansdale isn’t just a brilliant storyteller with heart, he’s also funny as hell, with tales of mummified dachshunds, homicidal bookmobiles, and a psychopathic hunt club. This collection is an absolute blast and a gift to all of us devoted fans.”
—Ace Atkins, New York Times bestselling author of The Revelators and The Heathens
“This is the 20th ‘Hap and Leonard’ book and it’s just as good and fresh as the first, offering high voltage action mixed with down-home humor. Hap’s white, working class; he spent time in federal prison for refusing to be drafted during the Vietnam War. His best friend, Leonard, is almost his opposite: Black, gay, with serious anger issues. Hap’s a Democrat, Leonard a Republican. And though Hap doesn’t like violence—Leonard doesn’t care—violence finds its way to him no matter what he wants. The five stories in this collection are set in and around the fictional East Texas town of LaBorde. The two are investigators there by default as much as talent, but once started on a case, they never give up and aren’t afraid of anything or anyone. One case involves a dead dachshund, whose mummified corpse is being held for ransom. Another involves a vanished bookmobile and generations of missing children. In still another, Hap and Leonard are chased through the woods by a killer who gets his jollies by tracking and killing helpless people with a crossbow.” VERDICT This collection will appeal to anyone who ever enjoyed the quirky crime novels of Elmore Leonard or Charles Willeford.”
—Library Journal
“Joe Lansdale’s Hap and Leonard stories are right up there with Richard Stark’s Parker books to me. With a prose style that makes it all look easy, he continues to write about these characters until I feel like they’re old friends coming for a visit, or taking me on a road trip that I know is going to go wrong, but I want to go on anyway. An inspiration to all of us who make our living in the crime fiction section, Born for Trouble is yet another masterclass in how it’s done.”
—Ed Brubaker, author of The Fade Out and Pulp
“Someday, when the world ends, I’ll take great comfort in the fact that Hap and Leonard will still be out in East Texas, righting wrongs and stirring up trouble along the way. Each story in this outstanding collection is like a full-ass novel boiled down to pure muscle, bone and mayhem, served up the just the way you like it.”
—Duane Swierczynski, author of Revolver and Breakneck
“If you already know Joe Lansdale, you don’t need me to tell you to read Born for Trouble. If you don’t, you’re in for a hell of a ride. Pulpy, blackly humorous, compulsively readable, and somehow both wildly surreal and down-to-earth. Lansdale is a national fucking treasure.”
—Christa Faust, author of Money Shot
“Born For Trouble finds Lansdale penning some terrific tales. They are suspenseful and sometimes laugh out loud gems of story from one of our country’s finest storytellers, featuring two of his most beloved characters.”
—Considering Stories
“Born for Trouble”—well, you can say that again. Hap and Leonard are a raucous, daredevil duo with more lives each than the proverbial cat, and really, thank goodness for that. Their adventures are a pleasure to follow, the hijinks and shenanigans anchored by the warmth of camaraderie and a steady flow of excellent jokes.”
—Stephanie Cha, author of Your House Will Pay
“[Lansdale’s] newest book, Born for Trouble, is a collection of stories about the irresistible duo of Hap and Leonard. If you’ve met these dudes before, you won’t be surprised to hear that these latest stories are a treat; if you’re a Hap-and-Leonard virgin, well, I’ll overlook the fact that you’ve spent your recent years living in a cave and congratulate you on the adventure upon which you’re embarking.”
—Lawrence Block, author of the Matthew Scudder mystery series
“Any new offering from Nacogdoches author Lansdale that includes his beloved characters Hap and Leonard is welcome. I worried the short story format might lose the luster gained by Lansdale’s gift for a long narrative. Nope. Turns out he possesses a gift for intricate storytelling. This collection is a welcome addition to the Hap and Leonard story.”
—Preview
“Hap and Leonard. Joe Lansdale’s trademark sense of humor. (If it’s not trademarked, it should be.) Interesting mysteries and vivid characters. Masterful story-telling. All of which add up to this: Joe Lansdale is a national treasure.”
—Char’s Horror Corner
“With such a great cast of characters exchanging sparkling dialogue and rude similes that make you laugh out loud, who cares about the plot? Raymond Chandler didn’t and, like him, Lansdale’s carries you along with his writing.”
—SF Crowsnest
“Join the growing horde of Hap and Leonard fans.”
—Bookgasm
“These are excellent tales by a skilled storyteller.”
—Tzer Island
“Everyone should have a little Hap and Leonard in their lives. Heartily recommended.”
—Ginger Nuts of Horror
“Another page turner I couldn’t put down. . . . well plotted, highly entertaining, and a lot of fun. That said I strongly recommend this book.”
—Scrapping and Playing
“Proves once again that no one writes a short story like Lansdale.”
—Crime Reads
“The stories are great: outlandish but grounded, fast-paced, and both funny and touching. They’re brisker than the full-length books, reading like novelisations of movies that haven’t been made yet. . . . As ever, Landale’s prose—as narrated by Hap—is light and fast. There’s that comfort and confidence that the best American popular fiction has. Stories told by a proper storyteller.”
—Eamonn Griffin, author of East of England
“Each entry in the new anthology stands alone in being funny, dark, readable, and thought provoking. A joy from start to finish.”
—Manhattan Book Review
“There are writers who are prolific and writers who are brilliant: Joe R. Lansdale is one of the few who is both, and we are lucky to have him. It’s good to see Hap and Leonard again, especially now. When there are too many people willing to hurt others for fun and profit, Hap and Leonard will always kick the right asses and take the right names. It’s nice to live in their world for a little while, because as violent and strange as it is sometimes, the good guys win, and the bad guys get what’s coming to them. They do what’s right, tell bad jokes, and show that loyalty and love are not absent even when things get ugly. We could use more of that. Fortunately, Lansdale is here to deliver.”
—Christopher Farnsworth, author of Blood Oath and Flashmob
“You could call Born for Trouble a collection of stories. But that’s like calling Paradise Lost by Milton a poem. Born for Trouble is a road map through 20th-century crime fiction, and your guides are two of the greatest, most intriguing characters ever created, Hap and Leonard. Rambunctious, complex, and endlessly fascinating, these two best friends offer a clear yet sometimes painful view of America in general, and East Texas in particular. Oh, by the way the cartographer of that map is one of the most original inventive and masterful storytellers to put pen to paper, Joe R. Lansdale. Born for Trouble is bound to be a classic.”
—S.A. Cosby author of Razorblade Tears and Blacktop Wasteland
“Every Lansdale book is a gift, and this collection of Hap and Leonard stories is no different. If you already love the characters, you absolutely need this. If you’re new, this is a fine place to meet them. I hope these stories go on forever.”
—Richard Kadrey, author of the Sandman Slim series
“Joe Lansdale’s compassion and humanity have touched thousands of readers, me included, right where we live. Of all his vivid and lived-in characters, none are as beloved as Hap and Leonard, and this new collection, Born for Trouble: The Further Adventures of Hap and Leonard will delight Hap and Leonard fans all over the world.”
—Lewis Shiner, author of Glimpses and Frontera
5/5 stars. “The stories are violent, outlandish, over the top, and hysterically funny.”
—Nonstop Reader
“Opening it up and reading through the stories, filled with warm banter, cold violence and a sense of place that you can feel in your bones…well. It’s like slipping into a pair of comfortable old shoes, which…may also happen to be a little bloodstained.”
—Sci-Fi and Fantasy Reviews
Photo by Karen Lansdale
Joe R. Lansdale is the internationally-bestselling author of over fifty novels, including the popular, long-running Hap and Leonard series. Many of his cult classics have been adapted for television and film, most famously the films Bubba Ho-Tep and Cold in July, and the Hap and Leonard series on Sundance TV and Netflix. Lansdale has written numerous screenplays and teleplays, including the iconic Batman the Animated Series. He has won an Edgar Award for The Bottoms, ten Stoker Awards, and has been designated a World Horror Grandmaster. Lansdale, like many of his characters, lives in East Texas, with his wife, Karen, and their pit bull, Nicky.
Praise for Joe R. Lansdale
“A folklorist’s eye for telling detail and a front-porch raconteur’s sense of pace.”
—New York Times Book Review
“An American original.”
—Joe Hill, author of Heart-Shaped Box
“A terrifically gifted storyteller.”
—Washington Post Book Review
“No one currently working the field demonstrates more convincingly and joyously the deep affinity between pulp fiction and the American tall tale.”
—Kirkus
“Like gold standard writers Elmore Leonard and the late Donald Westlake, Joe R. Lansdale is one of the more versatile writers in America.”
—Los Angeles Times
“Lansdale’s been hailed, at varying points in his career, as the new Flannery O’Connor, William Faulkner-gone-madder, and the last surviving splatterpunk . . . sanctified in the blood of the walking Western dead and righteously readable.”
—Austin Chronicle
“While Lansdale’s work is as varied as the regions of Texas, there is one common link through all of it: his brilliant storytelling.”
—Grimdark Magazine
Praise for the Hap and Leonard collections
[STARRED REVIEW] “Last seen in the novel Honky Tonk Samurai, Lansdale’s incomparable East Texas crime fighting duo show their chops in this remarkable story collection.”
—Publishers Weekly
“You leave this book hungry, both for food and to start the whole series all over again, live through it one more time, maybe just live there a while.”
—Stephen Graham Jones, author of Mongrels and The Only Good Indians
“The dialogue throughout is worth the price of admission, not as stylized as Elmore Leonard’s but laden with the same irresistible combination of relaxed badinage and playful threats that sometimes spiral into serious consequences while still remaining playful.”
—Kirkus
“Of Mice and Minestrone is enthralling storytelling that engages readers with dashes of simple wisdom and hard truth.”
—Fort Worth Weekly
“Amply filled with humor, wisdom, and heart . . . An excellent addition to a great collection.” —Manhattan Book Review
“These stories evoke the likes of Elmore Leonard, and manage to feel so reflective that one can almost taste the food.”
—Green Man Review
“An absolute treasure trove for Hap and Leonard fans. Going back to the beginning only deepens our love and appreciation for these guys. This collection proves once again why Joe Lansdale is one of our very best.”
—Ace Atkins, New York Times Bestselling author of The Shameless
“Compelling. Hilarious. Poignant.”
—NY Journal of Books
“East Texas charm, profane wit, and strong characterization, with enough snappy dialogue to keep a smile on your face . . . excellent entertainment, edge-of-your-seat action one minute, gut-busting humor.”
—Adventures in Genre Fiction
I have been writing about the “Boys,” as I call them, for many years, and my children have grown up with them almost as if they are living, breathing uncles. My wife thinks of them as close brothers of mine who can be both humorous and annoying, who arrive on our doorstep with checks in their hands, both for novels and stories and the TV series, even comic adaptations, to help us pay bills and be quite comfortable. So, we don’t fuss much at their occasional bad manners and destruction of the furniture. Not to mention all those vanilla cookie bags and Dr. Pepper cans lying around.
Thank you, Boys, you have done well by us.
Writing about them has given me great pleasure, and thankfully they have given pleasure to others. I get numerous emails, letters, notes, even phone calls, to tell me how much the characters have meant to them. How they have given them relief in difficult times, helped them navigate sickness and death, as much as such a thing is possible, and that information alone makes it worth the creation and writing of Hap and Leonard.
I write for me. I never try and figure out what others will like when I’m writing, but when I finish with a story or novel, whatever form of writing I’m undertaking, I always hope there will be those who feel as I do. That the story I’ve written was worth the effort and that perhaps, just perhaps, it’ll spark flame to some kindling in your thoughts, soul, or at least kill a few hours.
I also include in the Hap and Leonard stories bits of social commentary, ribald humor, and the feelings and look of the East Texas environment. Contrary to what some might think, East Texas is not all redneck ignorance and racism and gun violence, but those things certainly exist. The reason it is so prevalent in my fiction is not that a better and positive side of East Texas doesn’t exist; it is that the negative elements are what I wish to comment on, and stories that frequently are about crime or criminal elements will certainly have some bad characters in them. If I wrote about the ocean, there would be fish, and if wrote about the sky, there would at least be occasional clouds.
That said, the Hap and Leonard stories truly do run the gamut. Blood and Lemonade and Of Mice and Minestrone both tell about when Hap and Leonard were growing up, and for the most part tend to not be 100 percent crime stories. They are what you might call How We Lived Then stories. They are a kind of autopsy of what ticks inside the characters, Hap primarily, although I have written a few very short stories from Leonard’s POV that will in time be gathered together in one volume that I might cleverly call Leonard.
This volume is different. It has elements closer to the novels, but with less social background than some, and more excitement. When I wasn’t writing Hap and Leonard stories, was busy on a novel, I would sometimes find myself missing them in the way you might miss a family member who had gone on a long vacation and had been completely out of touch.
I would dream about Hap, hear his voice, and abruptly I would have to put away whatever I was writing—tuck it into a computer file to be more accurate—and take a break to let Hap and Leonard speak to me. Most of these are stories of that ilk. Hap showed up. He talked. I took notes.
There are times when I need to take a vacation from Hap and Leonard, or I am happy to see them pack their suitcases and hit the trail. I sometimes need a rest from those guys, but I am always glad when they come back.
This collection contains some previous visits. They are collected here for the first time together in one volume. I hope they will serve as more than a placeholder until a novel arrives. I think they are good stories, and varied.
A note. This really should go without saying, but some readers say, “Well, wouldn’t they be old by now? Unable to do what they do?”
In reality they would be slightly older than me. And I am no spring chicken. Though I’m spry. But here’s the thing—as real as they seem to me, they have a different relationship with time than the rest of us.
I let them age, but I have never done it on a year-by-year basis. Like Travis McGee, Philip Marlowe, James Bond, and numerous other fictional characters, they move at a different pace and have multiple adventures that no living person might have in a lifetime, or two.
I consider a year when I do not write about them to be a year in which they remain, time-wise, in amber. When I return to them, or they return to me, the clock starts again, though I don’t worry if it’s the year it should be after their last adventure. If I wait eight years between novels, or what have you, they are only slightly older than when I ceased writing about them eight years before. Their current adventure will take place in the current year, which means they do not maintain a realistic chronology. I may even decide to write about them when they are younger, or middle-aged. I get to choose.
Some folks are really bugged by this. I’m not sure why, but they are. It pops up in a lot of discussions. At the same time, this approach is one that has been around forever; story heroes are not necessarily subject to the ticking of the clock.
As long as I enjoy writing about them, I will age them slowly, though there may come a day when I age them out. I don’t plan too far ahead when it comes to books and stories.
So, folks, bring some vanilla cookies and Dr. Pepper for Leonard, some ice tea and animal crackers for Hap, and let’s have a party.
Of course, don’t mind me if after the cookies and such, I toddle off to bed early. That bunch, fun as they can be, can wear me out. And unlike them, I do age.
But I must admit, to a great extent, the Boys, with all their boisterousness and frequent juvenile humor, keep me young. I like that.
Born for Trouble
Joe R. Lansdale
“Pulpy, blackly humorous, compulsively readable, and somehow both wildly surreal and down-to-earth. Lansdale is a national fucking treasure.”
—Christa Faust, author of Money Shot
In Edgar Award winner Joe R. Lansdale’s newest Hap and Leonard story collection, the boys are back, with more righteous ass-kickings, highly improbable adventures, and disastrous fishing trips. These never before collected tales showcase the dynamic duo as a little bit older, but not a whole lot wiser.
Born for Trouble
by Joe R. Lansdale
ISBN: Print 978-1-61696-370-5; Digital 978-1-61696-371-2
Published: March 2022
Available Format(s): Trade paperback and digital
In Edgar Award winner Joe R. Lansdale’s newest Hap and Leonard story collection, the boys are back, with more righteous ass-kickings, highly improbable adventures, and disastrous fishing trips. These never before collected tales showcase the popular not-so dynamic duo as a little bit older, but not a whole lot wiser—Hap and Leonard were truly born for trouble.
“You could call Born for Trouble a collection of stories. But that’s like calling Paradise Lost by Milton a poem. Born for Trouble is a road map through 20th-century crime fiction.”
—S.A. Cosby author of Razorblade Tears
When you meet him, Hap Collins seems just like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal was Leonard Pine: black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Together, they have mostly found their way as partners in crime-solving—and at least as often, as hired muscle.
As Hap wrestles with his new identity as a father, and Leonard finds love in a long-term relationship, the boys continue their crime-solving shenanigans. They uncover the sordid secret of a missing bookmobile, compete in a warped version of the Most Dangerous Game, regroup after Hap’s visit to the psychologist goes terribly awry, and much more.
So sit yourself back and settle in—Born for Trouble is East Texas mayhem as only the master mojo storyteller Lansdale could possibly tell.
***
Contents
Introduction: “The Boys” by Joe R. Lansdale
Coco Butternut
Hoodoo Harry
Sad Onions
The Briar Patch Boogie
Cold Cotton
The Hap and Leonard short story series
Hap and Leonard
Hap and Leonard: Blood and Lemonade
The Big Book of Hap and Leonard (digital only)
Of Mice and Minestrone
About the Hap and Leonard TV series
The classic Hap Collins and Leonard Pine mystery series began in in 1990 with Savage Season. Hap and Leonard made their screen debuts in the three season Hap and Leonard TV series, starring Michael K. Williams (The Wire), James Purefoy (The Following), and Christina Hendricks (Mad Men).
Crime Reads Most Anticipated Crime Fiction
“It doesn’t get much better than one of the best crime writers in the business serving up brand new stories featuring his most iconic characters. Lansdale isn’t just a brilliant storyteller with heart, he’s also funny as hell, with tales of mummified dachshunds, homicidal bookmobiles, and a psychopathic hunt club. This collection is an absolute blast and a gift to all of us devoted fans.”
—Ace Atkins, New York Times bestselling author of The Revelators and The Heathens
“This is the 20th ‘Hap and Leonard’ book and it’s just as good and fresh as the first, offering high voltage action mixed with down-home humor. Hap’s white, working class; he spent time in federal prison for refusing to be drafted during the Vietnam War. His best friend, Leonard, is almost his opposite: Black, gay, with serious anger issues. Hap’s a Democrat, Leonard a Republican. And though Hap doesn’t like violence—Leonard doesn’t care—violence finds its way to him no matter what he wants. The five stories in this collection are set in and around the fictional East Texas town of LaBorde. The two are investigators there by default as much as talent, but once started on a case, they never give up and aren’t afraid of anything or anyone. One case involves a dead dachshund, whose mummified corpse is being held for ransom. Another involves a vanished bookmobile and generations of missing children. In still another, Hap and Leonard are chased through the woods by a killer who gets his jollies by tracking and killing helpless people with a crossbow.” VERDICT This collection will appeal to anyone who ever enjoyed the quirky crime novels of Elmore Leonard or Charles Willeford.”
—Library Journal
“Joe Lansdale’s Hap and Leonard stories are right up there with Richard Stark’s Parker books to me. With a prose style that makes it all look easy, he continues to write about these characters until I feel like they’re old friends coming for a visit, or taking me on a road trip that I know is going to go wrong, but I want to go on anyway. An inspiration to all of us who make our living in the crime fiction section, Born for Trouble is yet another masterclass in how it’s done.”
—Ed Brubaker, author of The Fade Out and Pulp
“Someday, when the world ends, I’ll take great comfort in the fact that Hap and Leonard will still be out in East Texas, righting wrongs and stirring up trouble along the way. Each story in this outstanding collection is like a full-ass novel boiled down to pure muscle, bone and mayhem, served up the just the way you like it.”
—Duane Swierczynski, author of Revolver and Breakneck
“If you already know Joe Lansdale, you don’t need me to tell you to read Born for Trouble. If you don’t, you’re in for a hell of a ride. Pulpy, blackly humorous, compulsively readable, and somehow both wildly surreal and down-to-earth. Lansdale is a national fucking treasure.”
—Christa Faust, author of Money Shot
“Born For Trouble finds Lansdale penning some terrific tales. They are suspenseful and sometimes laugh out loud gems of story from one of our country’s finest storytellers, featuring two of his most beloved characters.”
—Considering Stories
“Born for Trouble”—well, you can say that again. Hap and Leonard are a raucous, daredevil duo with more lives each than the proverbial cat, and really, thank goodness for that. Their adventures are a pleasure to follow, the hijinks and shenanigans anchored by the warmth of camaraderie and a steady flow of excellent jokes.”
—Stephanie Cha, author of Your House Will Pay
“[Lansdale’s] newest book, Born for Trouble, is a collection of stories about the irresistible duo of Hap and Leonard. If you’ve met these dudes before, you won’t be surprised to hear that these latest stories are a treat; if you’re a Hap-and-Leonard virgin, well, I’ll overlook the fact that you’ve spent your recent years living in a cave and congratulate you on the adventure upon which you’re embarking.”
—Lawrence Block, author of the Matthew Scudder mystery series
“Any new offering from Nacogdoches author Lansdale that includes his beloved characters Hap and Leonard is welcome. I worried the short story format might lose the luster gained by Lansdale’s gift for a long narrative. Nope. Turns out he possesses a gift for intricate storytelling. This collection is a welcome addition to the Hap and Leonard story.”
—Preview
“Hap and Leonard. Joe Lansdale’s trademark sense of humor. (If it’s not trademarked, it should be.) Interesting mysteries and vivid characters. Masterful story-telling. All of which add up to this: Joe Lansdale is a national treasure.”
—Char’s Horror Corner
“With such a great cast of characters exchanging sparkling dialogue and rude similes that make you laugh out loud, who cares about the plot? Raymond Chandler didn’t and, like him, Lansdale’s carries you along with his writing.”
—SF Crowsnest
“Join the growing horde of Hap and Leonard fans.”
—Bookgasm
“These are excellent tales by a skilled storyteller.”
—Tzer Island
“Everyone should have a little Hap and Leonard in their lives. Heartily recommended.”
—Ginger Nuts of Horror
“Another page turner I couldn’t put down. . . . well plotted, highly entertaining, and a lot of fun. That said I strongly recommend this book.”
—Scrapping and Playing
“Proves once again that no one writes a short story like Lansdale.”
—Crime Reads
“The stories are great: outlandish but grounded, fast-paced, and both funny and touching. They’re brisker than the full-length books, reading like novelisations of movies that haven’t been made yet. . . . As ever, Landale’s prose—as narrated by Hap—is light and fast. There’s that comfort and confidence that the best American popular fiction has. Stories told by a proper storyteller.”
—Eamonn Griffin, author of East of England
“Each entry in the new anthology stands alone in being funny, dark, readable, and thought provoking. A joy from start to finish.”
—Manhattan Book Review
“There are writers who are prolific and writers who are brilliant: Joe R. Lansdale is one of the few who is both, and we are lucky to have him. It’s good to see Hap and Leonard again, especially now. When there are too many people willing to hurt others for fun and profit, Hap and Leonard will always kick the right asses and take the right names. It’s nice to live in their world for a little while, because as violent and strange as it is sometimes, the good guys win, and the bad guys get what’s coming to them. They do what’s right, tell bad jokes, and show that loyalty and love are not absent even when things get ugly. We could use more of that. Fortunately, Lansdale is here to deliver.”
—Christopher Farnsworth, author of Blood Oath and Flashmob
“You could call Born for Trouble a collection of stories. But that’s like calling Paradise Lost by Milton a poem. Born for Trouble is a road map through 20th-century crime fiction, and your guides are two of the greatest, most intriguing characters ever created, Hap and Leonard. Rambunctious, complex, and endlessly fascinating, these two best friends offer a clear yet sometimes painful view of America in general, and East Texas in particular. Oh, by the way the cartographer of that map is one of the most original inventive and masterful storytellers to put pen to paper, Joe R. Lansdale. Born for Trouble is bound to be a classic.”
—S.A. Cosby author of Razorblade Tears and Blacktop Wasteland
“Every Lansdale book is a gift, and this collection of Hap and Leonard stories is no different. If you already love the characters, you absolutely need this. If you’re new, this is a fine place to meet them. I hope these stories go on forever.”
—Richard Kadrey, author of the Sandman Slim series
“Joe Lansdale’s compassion and humanity have touched thousands of readers, me included, right where we live. Of all his vivid and lived-in characters, none are as beloved as Hap and Leonard, and this new collection, Born for Trouble: The Further Adventures of Hap and Leonard will delight Hap and Leonard fans all over the world.”
—Lewis Shiner, author of Glimpses and Frontera
5/5 stars. “The stories are violent, outlandish, over the top, and hysterically funny.”
—Nonstop Reader
“Opening it up and reading through the stories, filled with warm banter, cold violence and a sense of place that you can feel in your bones…well. It’s like slipping into a pair of comfortable old shoes, which…may also happen to be a little bloodstained.”
—Sci-Fi and Fantasy Reviews
Joe R. Lansdale is the internationally-bestselling author of over fifty novels, including the popular, long-running Hap and Leonard series. Many of his cult classics have been adapted for television and film, most famously the films Bubba Ho-Tep and Cold in July, and the Hap and Leonard series on Sundance TV and Netflix. Lansdale has written numerous screenplays and teleplays, including the iconic Batman the Animated Series. He has won an Edgar Award for The Bottoms, ten Stoker Awards, and has been designated a World Horror Grandmaster. Lansdale, like many of his characters, lives in East Texas, with his wife, Karen, and their pit bull, Nicky.
Praise for Joe R. Lansdale
“A folklorist’s eye for telling detail and a front-porch raconteur’s sense of pace.”
—New York Times Book Review
“An American original.”
—Joe Hill, author of Heart-Shaped Box
“A terrifically gifted storyteller.”
—Washington Post Book Review
“No one currently working the field demonstrates more convincingly and joyously the deep affinity between pulp fiction and the American tall tale.”
—Kirkus
“Like gold standard writers Elmore Leonard and the late Donald Westlake, Joe R. Lansdale is one of the more versatile writers in America.”
—Los Angeles Times
“Lansdale’s been hailed, at varying points in his career, as the new Flannery O’Connor, William Faulkner-gone-madder, and the last surviving splatterpunk . . . sanctified in the blood of the walking Western dead and righteously readable.”
—Austin Chronicle
“While Lansdale’s work is as varied as the regions of Texas, there is one common link through all of it: his brilliant storytelling.”
—Grimdark Magazine
Praise for the Hap and Leonard collections
[STARRED REVIEW] “Last seen in the novel Honky Tonk Samurai, Lansdale’s incomparable East Texas crime fighting duo show their chops in this remarkable story collection.”
—Publishers Weekly
“You leave this book hungry, both for food and to start the whole series all over again, live through it one more time, maybe just live there a while.”
—Stephen Graham Jones, author of Mongrels and The Only Good Indians
“The dialogue throughout is worth the price of admission, not as stylized as Elmore Leonard’s but laden with the same irresistible combination of relaxed badinage and playful threats that sometimes spiral into serious consequences while still remaining playful.”
—Kirkus
“Of Mice and Minestrone is enthralling storytelling that engages readers with dashes of simple wisdom and hard truth.”
—Fort Worth Weekly
“Amply filled with humor, wisdom, and heart . . . An excellent addition to a great collection.”
—Manhattan Book Review
“These stories evoke the likes of Elmore Leonard, and manage to feel so reflective that one can almost taste the food.”
—Green Man Review
“An absolute treasure trove for Hap and Leonard fans. Going back to the beginning only deepens our love and appreciation for these guys. This collection proves once again why Joe Lansdale is one of our very best.”
—Ace Atkins, New York Times Bestselling author of The Shameless
“Compelling. Hilarious. Poignant.”
—NY Journal of Books
“East Texas charm, profane wit, and strong characterization, with enough snappy dialogue to keep a smile on your face . . . excellent entertainment, edge-of-your-seat action one minute, gut-busting humor.”
—Adventures in Genre Fiction
Visit the Joe R. Lansdale website.
Introduction: “The Boys”
I have been writing about the “Boys,” as I call them, for many years, and my children have grown up with them almost as if they are living, breathing uncles. My wife thinks of them as close brothers of mine who can be both humorous and annoying, who arrive on our doorstep with checks in their hands, both for novels and stories and the TV series, even comic adaptations, to help us pay bills and be quite comfortable. So, we don’t fuss much at their occasional bad manners and destruction of the furniture. Not to mention all those vanilla cookie bags and Dr. Pepper cans lying around.
Thank you, Boys, you have done well by us.
Writing about them has given me great pleasure, and thankfully they have given pleasure to others. I get numerous emails, letters, notes, even phone calls, to tell me how much the characters have meant to them. How they have given them relief in difficult times, helped them navigate sickness and death, as much as such a thing is possible, and that information alone makes it worth the creation and writing of Hap and Leonard.
I write for me. I never try and figure out what others will like when I’m writing, but when I finish with a story or novel, whatever form of writing I’m undertaking, I always hope there will be those who feel as I do. That the story I’ve written was worth the effort and that perhaps, just perhaps, it’ll spark flame to some kindling in your thoughts, soul, or at least kill a few hours.
I also include in the Hap and Leonard stories bits of social commentary, ribald humor, and the feelings and look of the East Texas environment. Contrary to what some might think, East Texas is not all redneck ignorance and racism and gun violence, but those things certainly exist. The reason it is so prevalent in my fiction is not that a better and positive side of East Texas doesn’t exist; it is that the negative elements are what I wish to comment on, and stories that frequently are about crime or criminal elements will certainly have some bad characters in them. If I wrote about the ocean, there would be fish, and if wrote about the sky, there would at least be occasional clouds.
That said, the Hap and Leonard stories truly do run the gamut. Blood and Lemonade and Of Mice and Minestrone both tell about when Hap and Leonard were growing up, and for the most part tend to not be 100 percent crime stories. They are what you might call How We Lived Then stories. They are a kind of autopsy of what ticks inside the characters, Hap primarily, although I have written a few very short stories from Leonard’s POV that will in time be gathered together in one volume that I might cleverly call Leonard.
This volume is different. It has elements closer to the novels, but with less social background than some, and more excitement. When I wasn’t writing Hap and Leonard stories, was busy on a novel, I would sometimes find myself missing them in the way you might miss a family member who had gone on a long vacation and had been completely out of touch.
I would dream about Hap, hear his voice, and abruptly I would have to put away whatever I was writing—tuck it into a computer file to be more accurate—and take a break to let Hap and Leonard speak to me. Most of these are stories of that ilk. Hap showed up. He talked. I took notes.
There are times when I need to take a vacation from Hap and Leonard, or I am happy to see them pack their suitcases and hit the trail. I sometimes need a rest from those guys, but I am always glad when they come back.
This collection contains some previous visits. They are collected here for the first time together in one volume. I hope they will serve as more than a placeholder until a novel arrives. I think they are good stories, and varied.
A note. This really should go without saying, but some readers say, “Well, wouldn’t they be old by now? Unable to do what they do?”
In reality they would be slightly older than me. And I am no spring chicken. Though I’m spry. But here’s the thing—as real as they seem to me, they have a different relationship with time than the rest of us.
I let them age, but I have never done it on a year-by-year basis. Like Travis McGee, Philip Marlowe, James Bond, and numerous other fictional characters, they move at a different pace and have multiple adventures that no living person might have in a lifetime, or two.
I consider a year when I do not write about them to be a year in which they remain, time-wise, in amber. When I return to them, or they return to me, the clock starts again, though I don’t worry if it’s the year it should be after their last adventure. If I wait eight years between novels, or what have you, they are only slightly older than when I ceased writing about them eight years before. Their current adventure will take place in the current year, which means they do not maintain a realistic chronology. I may even decide to write about them when they are younger, or middle-aged. I get to choose.
Some folks are really bugged by this. I’m not sure why, but they are. It pops up in a lot of discussions. At the same time, this approach is one that has been around forever; story heroes are not necessarily subject to the ticking of the clock.
As long as I enjoy writing about them, I will age them slowly, though there may come a day when I age them out. I don’t plan too far ahead when it comes to books and stories.
So, folks, bring some vanilla cookies and Dr. Pepper for Leonard, some ice tea and animal crackers for Hap, and let’s have a party.
Of course, don’t mind me if after the cookies and such, I toddle off to bed early. That bunch, fun as they can be, can wear me out. And unlike them, I do age.
But I must admit, to a great extent, the Boys, with all their boisterousness and frequent juvenile humor, keep me young. I like that.
Joe R. Lansdale
Big Bear Manor
Nacogdoches, Texas
Other books by this author…
Hap and Leonard
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$14.95 Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product pageHap and Leonard: Blood and Lemonade
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$15.95 Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product pageOf Mice and Minestrone – Hap and Leonard: The Early Years
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$15.95 Select options This product has multiple variants. The options may be chosen on the product page